About a Girl.
So, I haven’t written about you in what seems like a long time.
Firstly, I’m sorry you have to deal with me. I am a pain in the neck. I know this is a fact. To be honest, I’m probably the equivalent to having a crossbow bolt in your neck as far as pain goes. I have flaws, I make mistakes, and I can’t seem to do the right thing half of the time.
I have baggage, and you know it, and I love you so much for understanding that I’m not a normal guy. Sometimes, it feels like you’re the only person on my team, the star player that everyone else is trying to headhunt, so I apologise if I come across as jealous, I just want to keep you.
You smile at me, and it makes my day. Even the days when I wake up and feel like the world is going to end, you make it better, almost instantly. When the days seem dark, you shine, and I can see the light, see the truth, see that there is a better way to be, to be happy.
I am guarded. That’s a fact. I am closed off, paranoid, and hidden behind as many mental diagnosises that a man should have. So if it ever seems like I don’t value you, or don’t appreciate it, please, I do. You mean more to me than the world. You are my world. To me, you’re worth more than the stars in the sky, or any amount of cash.
When my diseases start to talk through me, when I spiral, I don’t want to talk to anyone but you. I trust you completely and with all of my heart, I can believe you when you say I’ll feel better.
You’re so much more to me than I think I can ever properly convey to you.
Let me say this now. You are beautiful. Even when you close your eyes, or when you ball up your fists, because honey, with all my strength, I want you to know, that to me, you are beautiful. Even when you stand and stare at the mirror, and your eyes dance around your own body, please believe me when I tell you that you’re pretty, that you’re gorgeous, that you’re everything I could ever want.
I am sarcastic and harsh when I talk. You are nicer than bubbles from the Powerpuff girls. How you ever fell for me, I’ll never know, but now that I’ve got you, I’m going to hold onto you harder than any death grip.
Antalya, I love you.
