I’m at peace with the lights on.
Please, close your eyes, because I can witness a person in the darkness, the simple silhouette cutting into the light, a being replicated, imprinted against the cold wall. The superficial aesthetic is robbed by the dictation of light and dark. In the shadows, complexity of being is forced to the realms of a cruel simplicity. As I see a shadow, I can see what I want to see. I can pick and choose what is real or not. What has been distorted by the light, and what has become sharpened. Even in it’s simplicity, the shadow can lie and fabricate, distort and reveal. What chance do I have against my own shadow? My own demon, forever trailing me, a reminder of the pain that bides its time inside me. I’m fighting the past and trying to stay connected to the now, to the current, it pulls me down, a force pulling upon my body. A cold grip it has around my core. I’m still searching for me. The essence of myself, free from the conscious idea of pain and the weight of existence. And amidst the Curious echoes of suburbia, drawn from a world of concrete and white lines, I walk admist the silence of the night. Who is the thought of me?I struggle to be myself. Is alone how I should be? The darkness paints a image of simplicity. The strength in me is aching for the colour. So far, only one person has given me colour. Who makes me feel like I’m a true man, with reason and virtue. The colours of life she paints across me, with her smile, her laugh, her walk. She speaks to me with the soft truth, a spoken word never sounded so beautiful until I heard her whisper to me. I trust her to be my salvation. She saves me from myself. She reminds me that the cruel taunts and jeers my own mind fashions are not to be believed. She is proud of me, and she loves me for who I am. It may be that I have become cold, calculating, distant. I have become cynical with ages forced upon my frame. Maybe I was meant to be alone. But together, I have never felt more alive. For that, I love her.
